Thousand little moments, seemingly insignificant fractions of time, strewn into the daily routine of care taking. These sprinkles of connecting, of locking eyes, of recognizing our bond, acknowledging it – and nurturing it some more!
There is a beautiful depth in viewing you as you, in being fully aware of who you are and of what I have in you. This depending on me being present, though, is what makes it difficult. Sensing you, truly seeing you, wanting to see you is not possible without intentional presence. In every necessary mundane moment, in every feeding, every diaper change, in every cuddle, yes, in every right routine can be seen the meaningful of the mundane – a moment like a pearl on a string of seemingly pale, repetitive instances that help(ed) create a bond, a story, and a together. But not if I am not present. My true presence – in mind, emotion, sensing – makes it deep. This my presence, however, is never just secure. I have to be intentional about it. I have to want to be there. With you.
Yet I know how often I am not there, wandering off in my sensing and thinking, not seeing the meaningful in the mundane, but trying to fill fleeting time with fleeting musings, imaginations, activities.
Presence. What a fragile endeavor.
Sempre caro mi fu... 